February 7, 2013 at 7:11 am #146833goodyfooreyesMember
It started out when I was about ten. I don’t know why, but I just started to pick at my scalp. It became something I did before I went to sleep, when I was bored, on the computer, reading. Just whenever and where ever.
I tried to stop it early on, I thought it was embarrassing. There was always loose hair on my clothes and things, and (disgusting, I know), dandruff too.
So whenever I started to pick again, I’d try doing something else, like curling my fingers tight and uncurling them again, pinch the skin under my knee, biting the inside of my cheek, and even apply lipchap whenever I got the urge, but nothing was as satisfying as picking…
So ever since then I’ve picked and pulled at my hair. I knew it was bad and I had to stop, but I did it so unconsciously that it became harder to catch myself doing, and when I did, I felt even worse about it..
I love dyeing my hair different colours. Blue is my favourite, but its hard to dye your hair when there are scraps and scabs all over your head. I knew it was DEFINITELY time to stop when my scalped started burning one dyeing session. Ever since then I’ve been really conscious about doing it, the picking. For a while I stopped, but then it just it started up again. Now I was fill on pulling my hair.
I have one bald spot, on the back of my head. It’s my favourite place to pull (obviously) because the hairs that are there are short and very satisfying to pull out. But the satisfaction only lasts for so long.
I don’t know why i still do it. It’s just a habit now, one that I’ve had for years. It’s almost routine in a way, ya know? If I don’t pull or pick it’s almost like… there’s a feeling of panic that forms in my belly and then rushes to my fingers, and it makes me so want to do it.
Stress, I’m thinking right now, is the one of the main/biggest reasons I’m doing it. My life right now is pretty hectic, it has been the last 3 years, I’d guess. Not the normal teen stress like; homework, popularity, romances, and things like that, but more stuff that I can’t just work through with a couple one-on-one chats with my dad or a close friend or by taking it slow and steady with my everyday routine or whatever. I’m hoping that if I can stop pulling and picking for good, it’ll be one less thing to worry about!
Sorry if any of this sounded whiny, it’s just I’ve never really talked about trich or me having trich until today, so I really just needed to vent a bit.
If you made it to here, I’d just like to say things for reading this. I really appreciate it 🙂February 7, 2013 at 9:14 am #146834AuntyShellMember
Hello! And Welcome to the forum!
Dont ever feel like you need to apologise for sounding whiney…. that is exactly what this forum is for – to talk to people who know exactly how you feel about your hair puling & to get things off your chest!
I am an eyelash puller and have been since the age of about 8 (Im now 25)
Im sure most of us on this site can relate to many of the behaviours you have described in your post – for me, it was so comforting to feel that I wasnt alone. I had never talked to anybody else about my problem before, and I find on here I can be honest about everything.
It can be a very difficult task to stop pulling, but the fact that you have found this website and made this post is a very good first step. 😀
Good luck with achieving your pull free goals! I hope to see you around on this forum to hear about how you are going. We will be here cheering you on 🙂 xxx
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