Telling someone when in a new relationships?

  • February 18, 2013 at 10:49 #146954

    I just wondered how people have dealt with this when in a new relationship? I’ve been pulling since I was about 12, it’s pretty bad at the moment and I wear a wig so there’s pretty much no hiding that from someone I’m in a relationship with.

    In my last relationship, which was quite long-term, I didn’t say anything for years although my boyfriend obviously knew there was something going on. Eventually I did tell him and he was absolutely great about it but we broke up a while afterwards (nothing to do with the trich, it had kind of been on the cards for ages anyway.)

    My problem is that I think I only felt able to tell him because we’d been together for so long and I really trusted him. I’d like to start dating again but I’m really anxious about having to broach the topic with someone that I don’t now very well. Had anyone had experience of this?

    February 24, 2013 at 17:04 #147060

    Hi SR42

    Sorry this went almost a week without a reply!

    I’ve never told anyone about my secret (except for you lovely people) so I am not sure how much helpful advice I can give on this subject.

    I think it is great you were able to speak about it with your ex boyfriend. My last boyfriend NEVER brought up the fact that I had NO eyelashes the three years we dated. How awkward, right? It was a taboo subject. He didnt ask, I didnt tell. I remember we were out one night and some person was like “wow, I just realised you’ve got no eyelashes” and my boyfriend told the person to shut up and continued the conversation. It was really strange that even after that we still never talked about it.

    I do really think that it is something that needs to be talked about, because for me, I am sick of the lies, and I am sick of carrying this huge secret around.
    Of course you need to feel comfortable enough with the person to be able to tell them, and that is something that you will need to be the judge of.

    Just remember that for us, it’s a HUGE deal. We think about trich every hour of every day. But for other people, it’s NOT a huge deal. Compare your condition to nail biting.. I think we all know someone who was at one stage a nail biter. And it’s no biggie. You wearing a wig is the same.

    Don’t be afraid to go out and meet new guys, if they are decent, they will understand about your condition xxxxx

    March 15, 2013 at 13:35 #147245

    Hi SR42

    Maybe if you tell them when they are telling you things about themselves, then it can bring you two closer and also relieve the stress and anxiety you are feeling about covering it up.
    If they can’t except you for who you are then they are not the right person for you.
    By not talking about something you are hiding who you are as a person and what makes you, you. Try not to let it become the elephant in the room as it may become a bigger problem than it could be.
    Everyone has something to hide and everyone is different, don’t let your differences stand in the way of finding love.

    Good luck

    Love Rachel x

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