Joined: May 11, 2008 Posts: 599 Location: North west, England x
Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2015 9:36 pm Post subject: Hello :) I'm back!
I've started pulling again, I've been in denial all along but it's really happening. It stems from having a miscarriage last year, then my family fell out with me over it and haven't been in contact with me for a year.
The family thing I've managed to move on from and they were so negative anyway which have helped things. It's more the miscarriage side of things. I sound pathetic as what's happened has happened and there's nothing more to it but why can't I let it go? I haven't really been to the GP about it as I was mistreated during that process and haven't managed to change GPs or even face them since.
As you can see everything is really quiet around here, which does make me sad.
I am so upset to hear that your family have fallen out with you - I always thought you were such a strong family. I know the miscarriage must have hit you so hard and reactivated all your grief about your Nana.
We are here for you and would love you to talk to us some more.
I'm so sorry to hear things are hard for you at the moment. Suffering a miscarriage must have been devastating, and losing the support of your family at such a difficult time must be awful. It's hardly surprising you've turned back to pulling for some comfort. It's absolutely not pathetic to grieve over your miscarriage and I don't think it's a matter of just 'letting it go'. You need to mourn the loss of your baby, your hopes and dreams.
Joined: Sep 26, 2005 Posts: 296 Location: Lancaster, Ohio x
Posted: Tue Aug 18, 2015 12:21 pm Post subject:
I'm so glad you turned to us for support when your family has let you down. I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond. I understand how painful a miscarriage is, it took me a very long time to deal with my own and sometimes I am still sad about it, over 5 years later.
It's really important that we all allow ourselves the comfort of feelings, even if they are not comfortable at the time, they are still allowed! If you have resorted to hairpulling during a difficult time, there is nothing to beat yourself up over. Just get back on your game and try to separate the two things. In other words, comfort yourself with "It's okay that I feel bad over my miscarriage. I really wanted that baby and I am sad that I'll never meet him or her. I'm going to get a hot bubble bath to comfort myself. Pulling won't make me feel better, it is merely a distraction from my feelings. I'm going to play with my putty egg to keep my fingers busy."
I am trying every day to choose to self-comfort through my feelings instead of using pulling to numb them. It's definitely my number one trigger and has caused relapse after relapse for me.
You are great whether you are pulling or not.
I wish your family would be a support to you instead of deserting you when you need them most. You've got us here to help you talk it out. I'm sorry.
Joined: Nov 08, 2004 Posts: 652 Location: Manchester, England x
Posted: Sun Nov 29, 2015 10:24 pm Post subject:
How are things going now? It's months since you wrote this. I hope you're ok. It sounds like you were/are having a really hard time. Miscarriage is a horrible thing to go through. Grief hits us in different ways and it's completely normal for the wound to take a long time to feel better, let alone heal.
I hope things have been improving. Thinking of you xxx
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