Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2003 10:00 pm Post subject: vienna/austria
i was wondering if any of you could help me with the following:
i have decided to take some steps towards feeling better and i know that getting rid of pulling my hair will be one of them. there are some other points in my life that i desperately need to change.
most of the people that (think they) know me would describe me as a relatively open, outgoing girl, not afraid of talking to complete strangers, loving, caring and so on. which is only right to a certain extent.
i´ve come to the conclusion that one of my problems is that i can not say no. at least most of the time.
i have a hard time believing that somebody loves me (which gives my boyfriend and myself again a hard time) and i am afraid that if i don´t give people what they want from me they will stop loving me. (a bit exaggerated, but that is what it is about.) even though my parents showed me what love is, i still don´t quite know how to love.
i am not quite sure but i think something happened when i was a kid. i can not really put it into words as my memories are kind of restricted, but i remember him and i remember me and one situation and when i think about him i almost choke.
... and some other things.
this turned out to be a long posting - all i wanted to do is ask the community, if they know some (GOOD) psychotherapist in vienna, someone who is also familiar with trichotillomania. i guess solving one of my problems will eventually spread to the rest.
Joined: Oct 15, 2003 Posts: 3827 Location: North London x
Posted: Sat Feb 07, 2004 4:38 pm Post subject: vienna/austria
Sorry but I canīt help you with finding someone in Vienna (but have you tried looking on the internet?) but I just wanted to tell you that I feel exactly the same - I can NEVER say no, even though I desperately want to and donīt feel good about myself doing what Iīm being asked to do and know very well that Iīm being taken for granted and that itīs going to continue if I let it happen.
I also have problems believing that people really love me, which, like you said, has created problems in my relationship with my partner, who is very understanding and evidently loves me, and has been able to make me believe (at least sometimes) that I am worth more and have to learn not to take so much s**t from people! And so are you!! I find that when I really donīt want to do something Iīll try to come up with an excuse for why I canīt do it, instead of just saying ´No, thatīs not fair on me, soIīm not doing it, or simply I donīt want to do it!´
I think my problem has something to do with the fact that my parents never told me that they loved me, and very rarely showed me any love in the sense of giving me hugs or affection like that. Thatīs not to say that they were not nice to me and my sister, there just were things that were missing.
Like you, I really want to change this, pulling out my hair is just one of the things. People generally talk nicely about me, saying that Iīm a nice person and always prepared to help, but I donīt feel that way at all. I know now that Iīm not being nice to myself and thatīs got to change. Knowing what the problem is and wanting to change is half of the journey already I think, so Iīm sure we can make it to the end
Take care and good luck
Hanna _________________ Down with that sort of thing!
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